Did you ever want to be the guy in your class voted “most likely to succeed?” Now, as you’re about to go back to your nth high school reunion, is some little dark and sinister corner of your soul hoping that the guy who actually was voted most likely to succeed will show up with bad teeth, greasy hair, and prison tattoos all over his arms?
That way you can say “Yeah, I always had my doubts about that guy” and come off looking prescient and witty. Plus it might make you feel better about those couple extra pounds and the spaghetti stains on your tie. But seriously, enough about my reunion, moments like these get one to thinking over just what is the true meaning of success and, by extension, whether or not you measure up. The idea of “most likely to succeed” in high school usually involves fame, fortune, and being irresistible to members of the opposite sex. As you get older, your definition begins to change, to become more complex, and success becomes harder to pin down. Michael Jackson had plenty of fame and fortune but how many of us would consider him successful?
For me simple ideas have a way of working their way into becoming obsessions and I found myself googling “success + quotations.” In the wee hours of the morning I found one I liked, and that made me reflect upon my experiences with success. ”There is only one success–to be able to spend your life in your own way” by Christopher Morley. Christopher Who? Google him. Mr. Morley’s definition immediately appealed to me because it described the success of the man I am closest to, my father.
My father was a simple civil servant; well, he was the director of the local zoo. In all of my life I have never met anyone who ate, slept, and obsessed of his profession the way my father did. He loved the zoo so much that he recreated his own little zoo at home. Ostrich, llama, yak, macaw, cockatoo, monkey yadda yadda, I grew up with them all. As if that wasn’t enough, when we visited every zoo we passed within a 100 miles of. All this passion showed in his work, the man got results! Awards, acclaim, attendance, the chance to design other zoos, all his. Yet never once did he ask for a raise, after all, how many people get paid to live out their childhood dreams?
Not that he didn’t appreciate making a living and having a little money, he worked hard and had businesses on the side to help bring in a little extra. Yet he kept money in perspective, it was a tool to help him and Mom live their dream lifestyle, it was never an end of it own. Not even a handful of Americans would have shared my father’s dream, wanted his lifestyle, or perhaps even have considered him a successful man. But that really didn’t matter because he lived life his own way.
You might think that a man who worked that hard didn’t have much time for his family but in fact the opposite is true. My parent’s were geniuses at including my sister and me in their business ventures and Dad’s job let Mom stay at home. Besides, vacations were sacrosanct to my father, who believed that holidays were for traveling and never wanted to rest his head in the same place twice. This, of course, gave us all the opportunity to visit a ridiculous number of zoos but that wasn’t so bad. After all, what if he had displayed that kind of passion as a sewage treatment engineer?
Now I would like to throw the question out to everyone else. What defines a successful man? Do you have your own definition of success? Who would you consider a model of success?
Success is very hard to define because it depends upon the person. I believe that part of success is giving back and leaving the world a better place.
Thanks John, I agree that giving back is an essential element. The best thing is that there are so many different ways to make the world a better place.
Defining Success is in the eye of the beholder. Yet, success is usually synonymous with money.
Money is just a bi-product of hard work = success. By working for your dream you can achieve success
in any endeavor you set your eyes upon.
True, but you can be successful in fields that don’t lead to large payoffs, think the Olympic kayaking champion or the little Asian girl who just won the national spelling bee. Both very successful but that success didn’t lead to a large payout. They are living their dreams and be damned what the rest of the world thinks.
Success is just setting a goal and reaching that goal. Thats pretty much it. The reason it seems to be up for debate is because most are given their goals as kids. Not specifically but generally.
We go to school to get good grades, to move up a grade, to go to college, to get a good job, to doing good at that job, to getting promotions, to getting more money to get the house, to pay for the lifestyle, to raise the kids, so that they can repeat to cycle. When its all said and done, we are suppose to retire.
I understand what jonathanfigaro is saying because most of the time, if you succeed at something but you can’t seem to get you money or life together, then you are seen as successful at that thing but you didn’t live a “successful life”
I hate the idea of retirement but thats the magic word if you work in corporate America. That seems to be the goal. A successful life is much more than job, car, house, healthcare, retirement, dead.
Great post! Thanks for letting me vent on your blog
Ralph,
I believe that you bring up the critical question, “how do I define success?” As you say, there are generally accepted societal norms for success but all to often these definitions are not really one size fits all. What fascinates me is our freedom to define our own lives and define success on our own terms. Powerful stuff! Thanks for the comment.